Sample Paper, Marked
The Problem at Buffalo Commons Henry David Thoreau states in "Civil Disobedience" that Americans should stop injustice. [1] He thinks that America doesn't show much intellect or self-reliance and citizens should act according to free will as is a human's true nature. [2]Thoreau wants readers to know that some authority is not justified. [3] He wants the readers to know right from wrong and act the better even if this means being civilly disobedient.[4]"Buffalo Commons" was developed in New Jersey by two Rutgers University professors, Frank and Deborah Popper. [5]It is essentially a land management plan to make the the great plains back into a prairie. [6] Buffalo Commons would include part of Nebraska, North and South Dakota, Colorado, Montana, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, and Wyoming. Over the next thirty years they want to turn 139,000 square miles of open land into a wildlife refuge because, "On the plains I saw anguish, waste, a lack of sense and awful planning." In this way, the Poppers believe they can improve the urban and rural areas of this country. [7]
I was born in Nebraska and have a sentimental attachment to the area, but my argument with the Buffalo Commons proposal is not based on this fact alone. [8]The Poppers arguments are weak. They state that the weak economy of the great plains, combined with low investment, construction and population density are adequate justification for their proposal. [9] While the agricultural based economy of Nebraska has been weak in past years, there is still investment and construction going on. My community and the neighboring community contradict the Poppers...... [10]
Check with the instructions about how to write a rhetorical precis (summary); have you included the genre, a rhetorically accurate verb for the sentence and any relevant quotations from the work? Perhaps 'wrote' would be a more effective verb to use here. What exactly did he say? Could you use a direct quotation? How might you characterize (in different words) what Thoreau is doing? Certainly he wants readers to realize--that's the effect. But what verb would show his action? Is he claiming something? distinguishing between two options? issuing a challenge? How do readers come to know right from wrong? What do they have to do first? What kind of transition could you provide between the first and second paragraphs to help the readers follow your argument? Perhaps you should explain what "it" is. Where did you take this quotation from? "In what way" means what? By turning back the clock? Instead of "but" perhaps you should begin this sentence with "although." Are ALL of their arguments weak? Remember to capitalize "Great Plains." Name these communities.
Sample paper, original version
Sample paper, revised.
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NWU Cooper Center: Sample Paper, Marked
Last modified: Thu Apr 9 21:52:58 EDT 1998
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